AuburnFamilyNews.com: Boom! Roasted! Week 7: Release

Monday, October 17, 2022

Boom! Roasted! Week 7: Release

In this day and age, days like Saturday are rare days. Six Top-25 matchups, three of which finished as one score games. One shot after another to the point where some games had to be written off just to make space for your eyeballs to take in something else. That’s normally what we here at the Roasted are for. When something massive happens, we normally take in the things around it, like TCU taking down Okie State in 2 OTs to continue its undefeated season!

Woh…what kind of meth nightmare did we just see there.

Or we make a nod to the twitter folks who teabag over a dead body in fantastic fashion, even if it so happens to be a team we love way too dearly.

Damn…but a tip of the cap.

But this is not a typical Monday dear reader, no no.

This is a full scale Finebaum Alert Monday.

So, since Neyland Stadium is fully roasted already, let’s get Roasted as well.

PAW PAW WOULD BE SO PROUD

I don’t know about you, but I woke up with a weird feeling that I’ve only felt a few other times in the past 15-20 years on Iron Bowl mornings. Just…different. And apparently I wasn’t the only one as people were preparing for what would hopefully come.

I mean…that is one way to tailgate for sure.

But as…different…as that is, it wasn’t even close to this.

Wow…I never thought I’d…wow…

So on to the ball game where the Vols tried to get in the Tide’s head early and often with some interesting intimidation tactics.

So let’s count down, we have fans acting erratically – check, we have players doing odd things on the field – check, but for a full on Bama melt, we need to have an overly angry Nick Saban…

OH HELL! WE HAVE A BAMA LOSS BREWING!!

Indeed we did, as Alabama would miss a game winning 50 yard FG, WITH :15 LEFT, only to have Tennessee complete 2 passes for a total of 45 yards to set up their own 40 yard FG to win it.

Which would send the entire state of Tennessee into a clog dancing fit

But man, that was a wounded duck of a kick, how much did he make that by you ask?

Not a whole freaking lot.

But it went through and it leads to my favorite part of a game winner at the buzzer, the field rush.

The fans would end up tearing down the goal post that the kick just went through and found it a new home.

It’s a good thing the waters are low right now in that river cause I’m sure they were able to avoid the ones thrown in there from the 98 Florida game. However, apparently Tennessee is struggling to pay for that $100,000 field rush and needs help for the game this weekend.

What in the cheap party host? Excuse me Danny…which I feel weird calling a grown man Danny, but you asked me to…but I don’t know If you know this, but you get at least 35 Mil from the SEC TV rights deal alone…let alone you shoving how Food City is the official Supermarket of the Vols or plugging Tennessee Natural Gas into my ears every time someone says they are chilly in the stadium. I think you got the $15,000 to hang up some new goal posts and don’t have to panhandle to your fan base that is having to take grass from you to put in their yard.

Oh you don’t know what I’m talking about Danny…

Yeah, you need to take care of your front yard before you worry about the lawn ornaments!

The worst part is, they will never catch that criminal mastermind that took the checkerboard…

DUN DUN

CAUGHT HER RED HANDED! So this is why they make you carry in clear plastic bags only at Auburn games.

Imagine this lady sneaking out of Neyland Stadium like she took the Declaration of Independence, getting home and placing that turf in her yard. That is one spot the dog will never wet on…ever…

Now, Tennessee fans, we as Auburn fans know a thing or two about beating Saban, and Brad Lester had some advice as you enjoy your afterglow.

And to put a cap on this one, one final nerd roast of the Tide.

That’s it for this week kids. I know I know, one game isn’t enough but damn it was a good one. Feel free to post anything else below and we will point and laugh at it in the comments.

Until then, parents, you need to have a discussion with your children about what may be to come.



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