COACHING SEARCH LIVE THREAD DAY 9

We’re getting coal for Christmas, aren’t we?

Oh, is it a coincidence that I just happened to put Lane Kiffin’s picture as the header for this post for the second time in the last few days? Not at all.

First of all, Auburn had a Garfield Monday. Billy Napier said thanks but no thanks because our stupid admins wanted to not give him total control over the football program if he was hired. We melted down.

Then, it was rumored that Bill Clark was at the top of the list. We melted harder. Bill Clark is a noted Bammer, known most infamously from my formative football years for steering kids from Prattville away from Auburn and to Alabama. Furthermore, I think he knows about seven Division 1 coaches to join him on a staff if he was hired, and he has not shown any reliable recruiting ability. Plus...

Thankfully, interest on both sides seemed to wane as the day wore on, and we rejoiced. A Christmas miracle.

What Auburn went through can be described as a sexless marriage. Yeah, there were some flings on special anniversaries. We all remember November 30th, it’ll be a special day forever (Kick Six and 2019 Iron Bowl), and random trips to Fayetteville also produced fireworks too (wonder why).

We need to be romanced. We need a little fling. COVID be damned, we need to find a hot little number at the bar who’s way out of our league and makes us feel safe but also a little dangerous at the same time. There’s only one guy that can fill that role, and it’s Lane Kiffin.

Hey @Lane_Kiffin there’s a neat little condo across the street from Auburn’s campus that I think would be a perfect spot for you. Why don’t you come check it out and maybe stop by Allen Greene’s office while you’re in town? https://t.co/R79GRBaR4N

— Sharife Cooper Liberation Front (@CollegeAndMag) December 21, 2020

Let’s count it down. Mario Cristobal is sticking with Oregon. Kevin Steele is not a candidate. Billy Napier isn’t a candidate. Steve Sarkisian wants Gus money — not a candidate. Tony Elliott is not a candidate. Maybe Brent Venables is a possibility, but it’s been super quiet there.

The one name that keeps popping up, and it would be hilarious to keep stealing coaches from Ole Miss, is the Lane Train. Let’s go get him. Who else is there?

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