AuburnFamilyNews.com: BOOM! ROASTED!! - Week 5

Monday, September 30, 2019

BOOM! ROASTED!! - Week 5

Ok, so the picture...I don’t think you can fully enjoy the hilarity of this completely unaltered photo in just the screen shot, so here is the whole thing.

Ok...alright...deep breath. To me, the funny part isn’t Lil’ Nicky going all ‘Hang In There Kitty’ on the OBVIOUS AND BLATANT copy of the LSU Crossbar, no no. It’s the cop that is watching this and has his hand on the door ready to open it just in case Nick can’t regain his footing after going 5th grade kid trying to touch the top of the door. Imagine if that did happen but Nick fell or something like that. The cop in front of Nick might have to take down the other cop for attempted little person murder! Ok ok, now back to our regularly scheduled Roastings...

You know how you are sitting at your house on July, let’s say 14th, and you get depressed on how far college football is from you. Its so many weekends away! There are no holidays between you and that far off land, it’s just work and work and work. Then college football is here….and just like that your team is 5-0….5-0? FIVE GAMES HAVE BEEN PLAYED!?!?! It’s just not fair. And, while there haven’t been a ton of really good matchups, we haven’t run out of roastable teams even with a short list this week, so let’s dive in to the Roasted!

WHO HERE’S A FAN OF CREAMED CORN??

For the record, I did call this in our staff picks so this roasting isn’t because it was unexpected, but more because there were actually people that weren’t from the state of Nebraska that bought in to the ESPN hype machine to try and get ratings. This was never a game, and it played out exactly how it was suppose to.

The worst part it didn’t start off great

And just kept getting worse…

And worse…

Yeah, pretty much like that.

However, for our purposes, it kept getting better.

And better…

And better…

And better…

Can we put Nebraska in the Michigan category of ‘pretender’? Sure you can, but I don’t think they have even gotten to the level of them being in the conversation. Scott Frost still has time to get things in his image what Nebraska should be but last night proved, they are a ways away from those two points.

BACK TO EARTH…IN THE BLUE PART

Its been a rough go of it for Kentucky this season. First they lose their starting QB Terry Wilson for the season, then the Florida debacle, then whatever happened in Starkvegas last week and now the trip to CoSC to take on the Gamecocks, who were also down a starting QB. How’d that go?

Oh…we’ve gone back to these celebrations again?

I’d actually be cool with this. But it can’t be that bad…I mean what did the stats look like

HOLY GOD!! In all fairness, there is no video of this game because it was so terrible. In fact, the only positive video out of Columbia last night was all on Live PD. Yeah…it’s “get ready for basketball season” season in Lexington…except, I got someone that is already ready for basketball season…

JUST MIKE LEACH DOING MIKE LEACH THINGS

I’m just gonna leave this right here...Mike does the Roasting after the Cougs fell to Utah 38-13...

That’s five pure minutes of fire from the master himself. It’s an interesting strategy to drag your team out in to the middle of the road, hit them in the knee with a lead pipe, get in a 64 Buick LeSaber, and repeatedly smash over their lifeless body until the tires pop. We will have to keep an eye on things to see what happens.

WATCH UPDATES

Sadly, NC State and Rutgers both let us all down and both FSU and Michigan won their games. But don’t worry, the big Ball Coach in the sky is watching…and waiting…

Soon…



from College and Magnolia - All Posts https://www.collegeandmagnolia.com/2019/9/30/20889909/boom-roasted-week-5
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