AuburnFamilyNews.com: Boom Roasted! - Week 14

Monday, December 2, 2019

Boom Roasted! - Week 14

Huh? Oh…hey, wow…yeah. Oh wow. You’re here for the…oh man…I didn’t think anyone would feel like Roasting since…well you saw it!

In all seriousness, when I dreamt up this little fun article, my intention was to not mention anything with the Auburn game outright. Sure, we could make vailed references to how much we hate FSU…Georgia…uat, but never really reference the Auburn game outright. This week I don’t have a choice because I remember watching the Egg Bowl…and I remember watching the Iron Bowl…and then things get blurry…DAMN YOU BROWN PARTY BOURBON! So, I will take a one week hiatus and we will talk Iron Bowl….and Egg Bowl because how could we not…IN THIS WEEK’S ROASTED!!!

NOW YOU UNDERSTAND WHY I LOVE THE EGG BOWL!!

I love the looks people give me when they ask what my favorite game that doesn’t involve Auburn is. I love watching El Assico, The Army-Navy game, the LSU-Alabama game, but nothing…NOTHING comes close to my love and affection for the Egg Bowl. I normally grab a thing of Egg Nog and settle in for God knows what, and boy did this year delvier!

Elijah Moore with the delayed fair catch. Apparently we need to make a new rule for that, RIGHT NICK! IT’S UNFAIR THAT MISSISSIPPI STATE COULD HIT HIM LIKE THAT!!! Well, the game continued on and it was a really good one, State held a 21-14 lead as the final minute of the game drew near.

That drew a 15 yard unsportsman like penalty that pushed the TYING POINT AFTER back to a near 35 yard attempt. And you know what happened next.

Yeah, so that cost us overtime Egg Bowl but hey, for it to happen in the most Mississippi way ever, I’ll allow it. Probably the most curious thing about this game is that apparently the game was dubbed in Russian for some reason, which brings up a whole batch of new questions as to….why? Why on earth does anyone in Moscow care about the Egg Bowl except to get talking points for the next political speech for 2020. Also, scary thought, what if this is the only insight the Russian people have in to Sports at Higher Education Institutions in America? Dear God, they get to see it from Starkville, MS?! Please say that they have another game. That aside, the call of the last two plays from Ole Miss are even funnier than you would expect.

From the guy coughing like he has been smoking since he was 8 (SPOILER ALERT: he has) to the entire booth laughing when the kick sails wide right, this is the closet thing to Mystery Science Theater 3000 you will get with sports (yes, I know Cheap Seats was a thing and even though I love that, they didn’t do live events).

If you skipped ahead and just wanted to get to the Iron Bowl talk but want a summarization of the Egg Bowl this year, here ya go.

Until next year Egg Bowl…goodnight sweet prince…

WHY YOU BUTT HURT NICKY??? WHY YOU BUTT HURT BABY!!

Just inject that right into my veins.

I saw this and thought it had to be wrong…It isn’t. At what point do you take a moment and realize that 3 points matter in close games? I mean you are the greatest coach in the history of history…What are you doing Nick?! Leaving dang points on the field PAWWWW!

Wait…you let Purdue score 52 on you? Sure I was in High School when that happened but….PURDUE?!

…HOW MUCH TIME DO YOU WANT NICK!? Do you want us to go Little League World Series and have each player before each play, tell you their favorite cartoon and who their favorite music group is?! Cause Derrick Brown would love to run up to you, crush your hand in his and tell you that his favorite singer is Stevie Wonder. You’ll think he is joking and kinda giggle…then you will realize…that man isn’t joking Nick.

Ok not Nick related, but WHY YOU BUTT HURT MAN!?! Gotta take it out on a flag?? Don’t worry, Wal Mart has another one for ya. But hey, you wanna watch the playoffs together, I got a see to watch that LSU kid throw TDs on folks…you know, like he did all over your place? Yeah us not so much, but we are State Champs and that means something this year.

And finally, I could have just posted this and been done because Deshaun roasted the Tide better than anything I could say here.

Ladies and Gentlemen, The Auburn Tigers have defeated the Alabama Crimson Tide by the score of 48-45 here at Jordan-Hare Stadium! WAR EAGLE EVERYBODY!!!



from College and Magnolia - All Posts https://www.collegeandmagnolia.com/2019/12/2/20991083/boom-roasted-week-14
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